Creature in My Ceiling

There's an unidentified creature living in my bathroom ceiling.

I started hearing strange noises up there last week. It sounds as if something is scurrying as soon as it hears me approach the bathroom door. Sometimes it sounds thumpy, sometimes scurry-y, and allthetimes creepy.

I haven't shared too many of the creepy bug experiences I've had living here in this apartment on my blog, just Facebook mostly. And so far I've only had to come face to face with huge flying cockroaches (or "cockmonsters" as my good friend coined them), a friendly little gecko (who passed away recently), and swarms upon swarms of ants that I've so bravely battled with my detachable shower head.

But this creature in the ceiling is both less creepy AND more creepy than the other creatures named above, precisely because it is unidentified.

Less creepy because I have an amazing sense of out-of-sight-out-of-mindedness (that's my positive spin on my terrible short-term memory anyway)...

And more creepy because I don't know what exactly is lurking up there, waiting to pounce on my head as soon as I sit on the toilet below.

My bathroom walls/ceiling is creepy in itself. It's a bunch of broken ceramic tile meeting a bunch of broken ceiling tile, with big gaping holes leading to the creepy darkness above. Don't get me wrong, not a day goes by where I'm not consciously thanking the universe for my current situation -- living rent-free in a new country -- but this bathroom is not my favorite place to hang out.





At the risk of sounding completely insane to my neighbors who may be listening, I have started yelling into the bathroom as I approach it, because the creature seems to scurry at the sound of my voice. And I would much rather it scurry before I actually enter the bathroom and have a seat...

"HELLOOOOO, WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?!"

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS SITUATION!"

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS, JUST GO AWAY ALREADY!"

"THIS CAN'T BE ALL THAT FUN FOR YOU EITHER."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!"

"I'LL PAY YOU TEN MILLION DOLLARS IF YOU GO AWAY, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHERE THE MONEY CAME FROM!"

I've yelled much stranger things at my ceiling but I think this is plenty enough to share.